Going Offline

Much, but not all, of my BDSM experience has been lived online. From chatrooms to websites to virtual worlds. From writing erotic fiction to creating 3D art, I have always enjoyed being part of communities and building relationships with people. Doing it online was always vaguely unsatisfying and now I know why.

January 25th, 2009, I took my first steps into a bigger world, visiting my local BDSM club, participating in a discussion group, and taking a class on rope bondage (yes, it was a big day). I had played with rope before, even taken some very good classes on rope bondage, but this was different, because it was the first time I felt a true and authentic expression of who I was.

You can live an entire life online and really know nothing about how it feels to engage with another person face to face in a BDSM relationship.

I cannot deny that the feelings I had or the connections I made with people were real, but I do think they were less real than the ones I am finding now. I also find that while I still enjoy places like FetLife and chatrooms to talk to old friends, I know I can never go back to online relationships. There is too much out there that awaits. Too many things to try.

So while I still love to communicate online, make new friends, and talk about all aspects of BDSM, from now on, as far as relationships are concerned, I am definitely going offline.