First Time Tying

From January 26th:

Yesterday was my first time tying a woman. And what a time it was.

That statement is a little misleading. I've had a few opportunities to tie up women in the past, but this time was different. My last experience was a class in Tokyo, with a well known Bakushi who taught me a lot about kinbaku and a few really interesting ties. It was introductory stuff, but for me, it was also a whole new perspective. I got to work with a beautiful model, Nami and tie her for quite a few hours. All the while sensei was watching, guiding, teaching. It was about technique.

It wasn't until yesterday that I discovered something different. In Tokyo, I was tying the ropes. Yesterday, I was tying the woman.

After an hour long demo on hogties and gags, we got an opportunity to practice. My friend (who had encouraged me to come to the meeting in the first place) offered to let me tie her for the practice section of the class. It was a very weird feeling, a mixture of nerves, excitement, and a sense that something about this moment was going to be different than anything I had experienced before. And it was.

As she stood before me, my mind raced with possibilities. Where to start? What to do? So many feelings, emotions, desires, needs.

I started with her knees, a simple lark's head, followed by the winding, cinching, tying off. Crisp white rope against her dark stockings. Slipping my finger under the rope, checking its tightness, making sure it was secure, but not too tight. Checking in, "How does that feel?"

But there was so much more. My hands touching her legs, sliding between her knees, working the rope, binding her, slowly taking her freedom, turn by turn. Feeling the energy build. Wanting the rope work to be perfect, not because it needed to be, but because it should be. I wasn't tying the rope any more; I was tying her.

Next the ankles. I wanted her to feel my touch, the strength of my hands, the firm caress of the rope, around and around, then cinched tight. Her legs pressed together. Control, surrender, helplessness.

Up onto the table. I want your wrists now, I want to take them from you, bind them, secure them, allow you to let go, to float, to fly. Feel the rope become part of you. Let them hold you, feel the bite into your flesh. Not to hurt you, but to remind you that you are bound. Feel it. Let it sink in, wash over you.

I want to give you that feeling.

Ankles drawn up and tied to the wrist. Elbows drawn together behind. Tied together. It is complete. For now.

Now I want to watch you. I want to touch you, caress you. I trace my fingers along your back, your neck, stroking your hair, touching your cheek.

Your eyes close and I see your body react to my touch. I can almost feel what you feel. I am connected. And you are beautiful.

You slip in and out. I watch you drift and then bring you back. We talk and laugh. Our conversation wanders from topic to topic and then my fingers trace over your arms, across your back. You slip off again, eyes closed. So peaceful, so serene. I just watch, so happy I can give you that feeling. So grateful that you have let me.

An hour passes and it is time to let you go. It feels right and there is no sadness as I untie the ropes. Even then I am thinking, how best to bring her back out? What will feel the best? What will make her remember the feeling and let it linger a bit?

It is a day for me to remember. My first time tying a woman.